Rescue- Desperation Band.
I need you Jesus to come to my rescue. Where else can I go? There’s no other name which I am saved, captured me with grace. I will follow you. I will follow you. I will follow you.
This world has nothing for me. I will follow you.
These words are literally coming from my heart. Lately, I’ve been seeking peace and comfort from the wrong sources. I go to friends, family, food (lol..), sappy love songs… Sure, talking to my family is the closest thing that will give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. But the truth is, nothing and no one can fill up that void in my heart other than God.
Everyday, I routinely open my qt book and bible and have quiet time with the Lord. I thank Him for everything He’s done, I bless Him, I praise Him, and I do this everyday without actually having an intimate, raw, or genuine time of prayer. It’s become so routine to the point where I didn’t even notice it was a routine, and I would be writing the same thing over and over. I thought there was nothing wrong at all. But this past weekend was just a complete revelation for me.
I don’t know about you guys, but every time I hear “God loves you”, it doesn’t affect me at first. It’s simply 3 words written in that exact order. We hear it almost every day and from everyone, whether its from your friends family or social media. But reading those three words, feeling what those three words mean, and understanding the true meaning of His love are a completely different thing.
God’s love can be shown through anything and everything. I think my whole life I relied on my emotions. I would always pray, “God I want to feel your love” or “God, shower me with your love today, and fill me with your presence” I remember I would expect some supernatural wave of gushy mushiness to fill my heart and stream tears from my eyes HAHA. Oh how foolish I was… God’s love… is literally everywhere.
Because I am a child of God, He cares for me. He adores me. He protects me. He delights in me. He is jealous for me. He sympathizes with me. He cries for me. He laughs with me. He guides my every step. and He loves me.
I began seeing things in a new light. From the less noticeable things:
When I wake up and complain about going to class, God has actually given me health and life to open my eyes every morning and start a new day, and He has given me the opportunity to study at this school and further my academics. Why? Because, He loves me. When I fail my exam and stress about my future, God is holding me and rooting for me, encouraging me that I can do this granted His strength. He’s telling me there’s only going up from here and this set back is actually a set up for my future. He’s telling me that no matter how much I try to control my life, in the end, I’m in the palm of His hands and the creator of this universe has an awesome plan for me. Why? Because He loves me.
To the more noticeable things:
When my mom sends me these long kakao messages, encouraging me and telling me she is constantly praying for me, God is showing me His love through my mother. And through that, I’m becoming to realize how unconditional His love is for me. If my mother and father’s love for me is this great, how much greater is my heavenly father’s love for me? When I go to church on Sundays with a burden in my heart and the sermon directly speaks conviction and victory in my life, God is showing me how powerful He is and how weak I am. He’s showing me that He hears my prayers and my cries for Him. He’s showing me that He understands and He does not wish for burden or anxiety in my life. He’s showing me that He is all so real and so living.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that God is revealing to me His love more and more each day- through every aspect of my life. It’s not this powerful gush of wind that strikes you down during worship and you get all crazy inside with fire at the tip of your fingers and violent shaking throughout your body. Nahhhhh, look around you and examine your life. God’s love is literally everywhere.
And by seeing how much He loves me and how blessed I am, it only makes me want to give back to Him. Just as I want to make my parents proud, I want to make my Daddy in heaven even more proud.
I’ve come to a point in my life where I realized I have nothing and I am nothing. Without God, I’m so hopeless and lost. I’ve become desperate and as I would naturally put it, “thirsty” for Him. lolol. But God, by reminding me of His love, is showing me that I can only rely on Him in this world. Only He can satisfy my heart and only He can give me peace- a peace that transcends all understanding.
This world has nothing for me. All these worldly things will fade. They’re only temporary pleasures that just continue to draw a bigger hole in your heart. God, capture me with your grace and draw me in further. I will follow you. I will follow you.
I apologize for my unorganized thoughts, sometimes I start off knowing what I want to write about, but I end up writing about something completely different. I literally do not know how to write…. HAHA, but hopefully this is somewhat encouraging to anyone that reads this.